Raising a Modern Day Knight
by Robert Lewis
A Book Review by Troy Parrish
This book is a definite book for dads. Mr. Lewis rightly notes that the transition from being a boy to being a man in modern society is a foggy transition without a clear definition of what a man is to be and when a boy becomes a man.
Using the analogy of the knights from the medieval time period, Mr Lewis presents his readers with a picture of the chivalrous knight and his code of conduct. He presents his own code of conduct for the modern man which includes three characteristics:
The book takes time to outline this code of conduct as well as present the reader with a definition of masculinity that surrounds this purpose. He includes four principles that help to define masculinity:
It is apparent from the beginning of the book that Mr. Lewis has learned from his own childhood experiences being raised by an alcoholic father who was abusive to his wife, Mr. Lewis' mother. Seeking to provide a better model for his own sons as well as being challenged to parent on purpose rather than by default. The book challenges fathers in particular to work to define for himself as well as his sons what it really means to be a man, to create a definition of manhood that then can be instilled in the character of his sons. As noted above, he does not leave the reader totally adrift in terms of a definition but gives broad principles and characteristics for the reader to use in creating his own definition of manhood.
The book spends a great deal of time discussing the necessity of cerimony in order to drive home the significance of these principles. Drawing upon the medieval knight analogy, he breaks a boys life down into three periods, the page (up until puberty) the squire (adolescences) and the knight (going to college or getting married). Each of these stages have some unique qualities but more importantly each is marked by some form of ceremony in order to really drive home the principles that dad has been trying to impart in the life of his son. He notes, and accurately I believe, that our society does not only lack a definition of manhood but it also lacks a definitive marking period when a boy becomes a man. He believes that these ceremonies also really challenge a boy to step into his role as a growing man and then a man.
The book provides ample examples of cermonies that have been used by himself and others in his circle of friends that have used cermony to mark the passage of their boys into men. What is nice about the book is that there is not a preset formula for the ceremony, in fact he provides a number of examples that are very unique from one another. The one thing that they all have in common is the calling of a boy to step into the definition of manhood as well as giving that boy a sense that he has now joined the ranks of men. This was a easy read and moves rather quickly. As with all books there is a little padding, but not much. If you are looking for a book that will help you gain a sense of how you as a dad can help your son really being to adopt a sense of manhood and do this on purpose, this book is for you.